MY LIFE AS A SEX GODDESS

They used to call me Mistress Natasha. You'd think from my name, I'd wear stilettos and blood red lipstick while I would usually wear 12-hole Doc Martens and a wily ginger beard.

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SEEING YOUR HOMETOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME: NOBBYS IN NEWCASTLE

It’s like seeing your hometown for the first time, as if you’ve stepped out of the picture and stepped back to take in all its glory.

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EXCERPT FROM FATHER FIGURE: HOW TO BECOME A DADDY WITHOUT REALLY TRYING

The Heavenly Father was hot. God was my first bear crush.

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FRESH FIELDS OR FOUL

Whenever I feel I've failed or life has offered me a raw deal, I think about my father.

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